Hi guys. Rhi here from MummyOfFour.com and welcome to my very first episode of Real Talk With Rhi my brand new podcast.! I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you have tuned in. If we've met already, you will already know that I have been creating YouTube videos and blog posts since 2017 to help busy Mums get organised with parenting tips, tricks, hacks, and advice. And now this podcast is going to be a bit more of that with a whole load of something different mixed in. So if you are new around here, hi. I am so grateful that you have joined me. Now, when I started my channel and my blog, I had a very small baby. I was talking all about nappies and breastfeeding and all of those things. As I'd spent so much time researching and looking into how I can make my life easier, which systems, which products, how can I get more organised? And I especially did this every time I was having a new baby. And the reason I initially set up my channel was really to set up the resource that younger me would've loved and to put it all in one place I had done the research so you didn't have to. Obviously as my children get older, my youngest is now six. Yikes. How did that even happen? Shout out to all the OG lot that have been here since she was a tiny baby. But motherhood really does evolve and go through different seasons, we're gonna be talking about all of that through these podcast episodes, as well as how we can manage all the pressures on us as mothers, how we can deal the mental load of motherhood, the stresses that come with juggling a million balls at once. And how we can stop beating ourselves up too. So today in this very first episode, I want to talk about overthinking and I'm gonna tell you a little story about overthinking this podcast. So when I started my channel way back when, I am a notorious overthinker and one of the sticking points for my channel was, what do I call it? What do I call my channel? And if I'm honest, I could have waited forever to find the perfect name. If I had done that, I never would've started my channel. I ended up calling my channel Mummy Of Four because I thought, well, it kind of does what it says on the tin. I never felt like it was the perfect name. It was never the perfect exactly what I needed it to be, but it was kind of almost a filler name that I thought, well, I can always change that in the future. And yes, it's kind of stuck. It's kind of stuck with me, but I am so grateful that I stepped right outta character when I started that channel. I could so easily have used perfectionism as my excuse and still not have started that channel. That channel, which, okay, if, you remember the whole journey? The, the whole journey was, I started the channel and the blog realised that YouTube was very hard work. The channel stayed dormant. I carried on with Instagram and my blog. And then in 2019 I relaunched my channel. So, okay, there was a little bit of a hiatus in my YouTube channel. If I hadn't started it back then, I wouldn't have gone along that journey. And then I wouldn't have been doing Instagram. I wouldn't have relaunched my channel and this wouldn't my full-time job. So I now work from home full-time doing my blog, my YouTube channel. I've actually got two YouTube channels now. I've got my Mummy Four Does Disney one as well. So, If I had just said, oh, the name's not perfect, the name's not perfect, which I so easily could have done, I never would've got started. To contrast that with my planner. So yes, thank you to those of you who've already bought it. Uh, when did I launch it now? Did I launch it just before Christmas? Just after Christmas? I'm not even sure. I think I launched it in January. Goodness me, when did I launch my planner? It was within the last few months anyway, so I've got, an Organised Life Planner, which I had been using for flipping ages. The digital version of it, I had been using this planner myself for ages, and I talked about it on my channel. I talked about it on Instagram, and yet I had not actually launched this planner and put it out into the world. The reasons for this were, I was worried it wasn't perfect, so I was massively overthinking, is this right? Is this gonna work? And then I was worried about the systems because obviously the behind the scenes of it quite complicated. I had to be able to sell it on my website, but then I needed to use a separate website. So I use Shopify and that had to link up and then that had to send a message to the printer. So it, it was reasonably complicated. It was complicated, I'm not gonna lie to you. For someone that does that kind of thing all day, every day, perhaps if you're a web developer or something, that might not be complicated for you. For me, I felt that was really complicated. So this was another barrier to me actually getting this done. I was massively overthinking the product. I was massively overthinking the steps and how hard it was gonna be to do the steps. And then I wasn't making the time to do it because I thought, well, I haven't got time for that because it's gonna take me so long. It was procrastination, dressed up as perfectionism. I was procrastinating because I was worried I couldn't get it right. And the truth of the matter is done is better than best. So back to my name of my channel, Mummy Of Four, it was better to get it done and get it out there. It's not the best name. It's fine, it's adequate. So coming around to this podcast, I have been thinking about launching a podcast for such a long time, and then I finally got a nudge to get this done, and I thought, you know what? I've got two options here. I can do what I did with my channel and just slap a name on it and I can always change it later and just get started and done is better than best, and it's better to get started with an imperfect name than to wait for the perfect name and never get started. Or I can do what I did with my planner and waste so much time. I cannot tell you how many messages I had from people when I was developing the planner, just saying. Is it ready yet? Have I missed it? Have I missed it? I had so many and they were so kind and I just felt so guilty every time I hadn't got it done. and then I had messages from people saying, do you know what Rhi this is madness. People wanna buy this. And you are literally leaving money on the table. You are literally impacting your business and your income for your family because you haven't got this done. That was a bit of a wake up call. So this podcast. Why now? A few reasons. One of the reasons is because I have been overthinking some things on my YouTube channel and I'm trying not to do that. Going back further than that, as to the why, in six months from now, six months from the time that I launched this podcast, I am turning the big four Oh. And I think when you've got like a big birthday coming, I do, at least, I kind of feel like. Okay, now is the time. If I'm gonna make improvements, where do I wanna be? Which regrets do I not wanna have? And this is something that's been sitting on my bucket list, so I thought, you know what, now is a perfect time. Now I've been overthinking. Do I start the podcast? Do I not start the podcast? Will I have time for the podcast? Should the podcast be on my YouTube channel? Should it be on a separate channel? What? You know, I've been overthinking all of this, and then I keep coming back to this done as better than best. I'm gonna come round to how this will apply to you in your real Mum life, do not panic this, this does have relevance, believe it or not, because I guarantee you there is something in your life you might not do YouTube for a living like I do. Not that many people as out the population that actually do what I do. In fact, I dunno anyone in my real life that does what I do for a living. So chances are this exact situation will not relate to you, but there will be something that you have been procrastinating and overthinking. Something that you just need to do and we are just gonna do the thing together. I'm gonna do the podcast. You are gonna do the thing and we are gonna do it together. So whether it's applying for a job or tackling a room in your house that really needs tackling, you've been procrastinating it cause you're not sure what to do, you're not sure where to get started. The best place to get started is just, to do it. To stop overthinking about how it's gonna be and wanting it to be perfect and just doing it. Do you know what? I'm so new to podcasts. I don't even know how this works yet, but if you're watching this video podcast on YouTube, you can let me know in the comments what is your thing that you've been procrastinating, that you're gonna do with me. And I guess, can you leave comments on podcasts? I don't even know. I listen to podcasts, but I'm terrible. I never actually comment or review them. I think I can ask you to write a review. Maybe you could be like, Hey, Rhi, I'm watching listening, watching do, listening to your first episode and, um, this is the thing that I'm gonna do. Or you can email me, you can dm me over on Instagram. I'm@ MummyOfFourUK on Instagram, and also MummyOfFourDoesDisney on Instagram too. So there will be something in your life. I know, and I know that as you're listening to this, you know what that thing is, you don't have to think that hard. You know, there is something that you've been putting off because you're like, oh, but I don't know, I dunno about that. I've been overthinking it, worrying about it, and being perfect. Another thing I've been overthinking and another reason I've started this podcast, as we move through like seasons of motherhood, Each one it, it gets a little bit new level, new devil, doesn't it? You kind of think you've got in the swing of things, you feel like you kind of getting the hang of it, you get in your groove and then everything changes. And things have definitely changed for me over the last few years because all of my children are now in full-time school. My eldest is in university. That's been a big change. My youngest baby is no longer a baby. And when you've had baby after baby, after. The baby period that's supposed to last, you know, a short amount of time for people that just have one or two children and have a little gap or whatever has lasted a really long time for me. So I've almost forgotten how to be just me, you know, just Rhi. What does that mean? What does that look like? and I think I've kind of lost my identity a little bit, so I kind of want to reclaim a little bit of that, again, which is a, a coming up to 40 kind of thing, I suppose, is making me feel that as well. But I've massively been overthinking what I wanna be talking about on my YouTube channel The perfectionism Trap has been coming along here as well. There are all these topics I want to talk about. I get amazing questions sent in from you guys, and they do not go, go unnoticed. I've got this massive list of videos I wanna make. And I've just been overthinking them. Like, I can't make that video because I don't know enough about it. I , can't make that video. Who am I to talk about that topic? I can't make that video because I haven't made the perfect points in the most succinct way, and I'll waffle too much and it won't be the perfect video, and then the algorithm won't show it to anybody. And then obviously, because this is my business, then I want my channel to do well. And also if the algorithm doesn't show it to anyone, then you lovely people won't see it. And you know what's the point? So I've been overthinking and overthinking, overthinking this, and just not knowing which direction to take my channel in now I'm no longer talking about nappies and breastfeeding and all the baby things that were so obvious to talk about. And what I want to talk about is yes, organisation, but why do we need to be organised? It's so that we can keep our minds decluttered. If we are in a cluttered space, this is how I feel anyway. If my space feels cluttered, then I just feel like it's one more thing on my mental load to wade through. And quite frankly, guys, if we are mothers or just women, just people, quite frankly, modern life is so busy and chaotic. We've got enough on our mental loads, enough on our plates to have to deal with. We do not need to add extra stuff. So yes, I'm still gonna be talking about how we can be more organised and more productive, but so that we can feel calmer and have more time to do the things we want to do so we're not just constantly on this hamster wheel of flustered, chaotic. So I wanna talk about all that and how that impacts our mental health. And I'm thinking, oh, who am I to talk about this? Who am I to talk about this? So a few things have helped me here. One was a quote by Marie Forleo, which I'm gonna find if you now.. And it says, no matter how many times you think an idea or creation has been shared with the world, sometimes it takes that one person expressing it in their unique voice at the right time, in the right place for it to actually make a difference. And that really spoke to me because, that has happened so many times, I've had so many videos popping up in my feed, for example, about how to set a podcast and things, and I thought, oh, it's not for me. It's not the right time. And then suddenly things align and it's at the right time, and suddenly the same sort of message you've heard before really hits home. And if something that I say in one of my waffly chats on this podcast gets through to one person, then that will have been worth it. So that really got through to me and the fact that I'm putting this out now in a podcast is giving me permission. This is probably gonna, like saying even out loud just sounds like it doesn't even make sense, but it makes sense to me. So, so just bear with me, but. I feel like the video, if it's a video, it's gotta be like, here are five points and they're all perfect and it's gotta be perfect. And, , if it's not a perfect video, I can't make it. Which, okay. Um, when saying I like, I am aware that sounds intense, but that's kind of been the thoughts going on in my head. I feel like by making this a podcast, it's giving me permission. Like who do, who know do I need permission from? But it's giving me permission to just contribute to the conversation. I don't have to be the authority on it. So if you really want the motivation to get something done and to stop overthinking it and just get started, Then make a commitment to the thing you're going to do publicly. And remember, the bigger the commitment you make to the thing you ultimately want to do, the more likely you are to do it. Get some skin in the game. So I have told everyone on Instagram this morning that I'm recording this podcast and I do not want those messages from people did you end up recording it then, Rhi? And feeling foolish. I'm gonna have to do it so that I don't feel foolish. And that's actually made me get on with this this morning, and that is what's going to make me actually edit this and get it published. If you've got a room you need to clear out and you really need the motivation to get it done, book carpet or furniture or something to be delivered for that room. A certain amount of time from now and you know you've got a timeline, that clock is ticking. So I'm so grateful for you guys tuning in. If you're watching on YouTube, make sure you have liked and subscribed with a bell on. And if you are on one of your podcast hosts, please do leave me a review. I'm not even sure if that's a thing you can do. I'm really gonna have to look into this, aren't I? I'm sound like a novice, but you know why? I don't know. It's because I could easily have procrastinated this for months learning all this stuff, and do you know what? I'm just gonna learn as I go along. Thanks again for tuning in guys. I'll see you soon. Bye.